One Day Goodbye Became Farewell

It’s August.

I know it’s August, because well, that’s what it says on my The Simpsons calendar (I’ve been buying their fun calendars for over a decade now) and I also got a leaflet this morning informing me about the Notting Hill Carnival which rolls in – a bit tiredly for some time now – every August end.

I think this my might be a long post, we’ll see.

One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell‘ (a Morrissey title – I’m not a big fan but I can very much see the humour of a National Front Disco) seems a fitting title (modified) as it sums up two or three things that are arising or have arisen on this colourful August.

The first is that after ten years in a relationship which had it’s limitations but also greatness, it’s all just popped like a balloon. I didn’t see this coming, maybe because I’m emotionally blind, or I have not wanted to accept such a scenario, which has become as familiar to my friends, happen to me. I have vented about it, in fact even tweeted about it somewhat, but in reality what happened to me is as boring to retell as it is to see in a soap opera. But I’ll have to get by and the little optimist in me is saying “give it time.” I just hope it’s not a lot of time.

But not all farewells are sad.

I’m just two thousand words from completing my novel which I started in 2007, launched from a novel writing course I started in 2006.
It’s still not entirely finished as at least 30-40% of the early part of the story needs fair rework as it was done prior to finishing my course and learning appropriate structures and devices; but the latter half will just need a read through most likely, so I’m hoping – depending on the speed of my approach – that I will have everything, or most things, wrapped up by year end. I was accurate in predicting that I would finish writing this before I hit 30, so hopefully this prediction will be right too.
And this might be the last of my journal entries on this project. Or maybe not; I’m not good at closing things.

The last thing is not so much as a goodbye or farewell, rather than a hello and welcome!

I think I’m only a week away from posting the first of a wad of songs (also started in 2007) after many frustrating moments with recording over the past few months (Mo cost included: A drum sampler [£150], a portable e-drum kit [about £1000] and a trigger finger pad [£60]).
There is still stuff to do, but seemingly not much. Also, even if it’s not a perfect outcome, we might revise this bit of music at a later date but neither me or D.P. want to keep this thing in the oven any longer. We plan to have three or four of our eleven tracks online, so once the first one’s done, the rest should flow out.

Last things to report are I’ve just ordered a copy of  ‘Science Sold Out: Does HIV Really Cause AIDS?’ by Rebecca Culshaw.
I’ve been fascinated by HIV/AIDS scepticism upon finding vitamin D articles occasionally road in, and have followed Henry Bauer’s blog on it.
I know the subject is controversial and it makes me seem a challenger to everything, but potentially anything without an answer after years deserves scrutiny and I think the arguments presented by some parties are very sound.

Very lastly, I’m looking forward to the imminent new Slayer album ‘World Painted Blood‘. I’ve heard two songs from it and they sound fine. It’s Slayer, you always get from them what you get from a can of baked beans; red covered goodness!
It mightn’t be the most cerebral music at times, but sometimes something to shake up your brain is all you need to get by.



  1. Good luck with your artistic endeavours and emotional recovery. (a powerful combination if there ever was one!)

    I must admit that I felt a bit uneasy when you first brought up HIV/AIDS scepticism. But then again, I know nothing about that and who knows, there might be something to it.

    “All great truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed.
    Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”
    –Arthur Schopenhauer, German Philosopher

    Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
    — Bertrand Russell


    1. Thanks again Jan. 🙂

      Cheers for the quotes, those are very powerful ones.
      I’ve been uneasy too about the HIV/AIDS argument. For a start I have no personal interest in it so I can neither relate personal information or give advice to anyone.

      But the thing that whirs in my brain about it is, if being HIV+ means you simply have the antibodies against the virus, then wouldn’t a vaccine for it mean you have to make people HIV+?
      When you get chicken pox you will be HSV+ and usually for life and this is a good thing as you’re offered future immunity.
      But HSV is diagnosed by symptoms (pox, cold sores) and by detecting (isolating the virus).

      As far as I’ve read, HIV has never been isolated. What’s been found so far has been often been disputed as impure (if you also search Google Images for HIV all you’ll find are computer representations of the virus). And then if there is a virus (Peter Duesberg says there is a virus but that it’s a harmless one that comes out of illness, while The Perth Group says testing HIV+ is simply a sign of oxidative stress and there’s no actual virus) it’s in such small amounts it has to be amplified in ‘viral load’ tests. A killer virus shouldn’t need to be amplified if it’s ravaging your body, I think.

      When you have antibodies to something it means you’re effectively created immunity to it, just like flue jabs. Mainstream thought says that the antibody response to HIV is essentially weak, but it’s been shown in over 20yrs of the HIV discovery that some people have not developed AIDS. How big this ‘some’ is I don’t know, but if HIV is what they say it is, then it should give them all AIDS, like HSV gives everyone one of the associated illnesses associated with the strain they catch.

      How it ties in to vitamin D is to do with I in AIDS – immunodeficiency. People need food, water, absence of toxics and sunlight to survive. Malnutrition and unclean water like in Africa, toxins (as in recreational drugs) and lack of sunlight (vitamin D) are linked to the AIDS illnesses (as AIDS is not an illness in itself but an umbrella condition that leads to many known illnesses such as cancers).
      AIDS is an epidemic, that’s for sure. But it hasn’t reached outside the original risk groups. It’s still seen in Africa, drug users and the frail. In London there was a study of 500 prostitutes; only 3 were HIV+ and those were all drug addicts.
      However in Africa it might be malnutrition alone. In the west it could be drugs alone (so it’s the drugs rather than just using clean needles), and since not all people test HIV+ (there’s documents about the unexplained HIV negative with AIDS), maybe the vitamin D deficient can go on to get AIDS, as in they can get cancer, osteoporosis and other immune diseases. Yet, because they don’t test HIV positive for whatever reason, they’ll be seen as cancer suffers rather than AIDS patients. They’ll get cancer treatment rather than AIDS drugs, which might be the correct approach.

      It’s been known that pregnancy alone can cause HIV+ results (even if temporarily) and blacks have a susceptibility to this (shifting the epidemic in Africa from hunger to a virus), so instead of addressing deficiencies, the war on AIDS may never be won because it’s looking for something that may not exist, and if it does, than it’s the result of deficiencies rather than the cause of.

      I would like to think the skeptic argument is wrong because a whole lot of money has been invested in the current theory and it’d be tragedy if it was all based on flaky science.


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